Real life Dating vs MP

[jeriuana]

Now here is where this thread gets really stupid, but great truths can be learned from the depths of stupidity.

Holiday weekend Sunday night, I partied with friends.... drank and inhaled (second hand) way too much.

In such a state, we turned on the tv and l flipped looking for the stupidest show, just for laughs.

Well we found it... Much Music.... an hour long with Jessica Simpson and her husband.

Well.... She is so hot, but what a bitch. I don't think anyone could live with her. Actually felt sorry for that dude that married her. He would be better off going to a MP look alike, and judgeing from her bitchiness, would be much happier too.

 

[echinopsis .]

Milehigh, good to hear things are good between you and your special MPA.

Don't over analysis! Only you and her would know best as we are not in your shoes. To know the circumstances and desires.

As you say, "the stars are inline for the two of you" and that you both mutually enjoyed the relationship. So, a) you are into each other, b) neither parties are out to take advantage of the other. Don't forget in the end, she's just a girl with feelings.

Stop comparing and enjoy each other's company. The real challenge is bring each other into the other's real world - ie: take it to the next level.

Aside, my 2 cents about dating is we all tend to put too much pressure on ourselves to impress the other party. Perhaps treat it as going out with a friend who happens to be female that you may enjoy spending time with. Not to be so eager for instant attraction or to find 'the perfect one'.

 

[elpi]

I know you'll hate this analysis, but it sounds like you're just not hot enough to get a girl as hot as the MPA you're paying.

That's cool - I'm definitely not hot enough to get Ella at IT, whom right now I consider on the same level as Cameron ex-HFH. But I digress.

Let's assume you're a middle-aged divorced guy, based on your comments. Let's further assume that your MPA is mid-20's, super-hot, works out all day.

Is this the kinda chick you could pick up in a club? Probably not, unless you're:

1) Mid-20s yourself
2) Something pierced or tattoed
3) Buff build
4) A complete asshole (don't ask me, they all seem to like this).

In my really limited experience, unless you fit into the above, you need to find a side door into meeting these chicks. Being their boss appears to work, as does being their client (same dynamic). Taking a class also works for some, but oddly there are few MPAs taking classes. Might also try a gym.

If all else fails, you could work out like crazy and talk in excited tones about your upcoming inheritance.

 

[bellatruth]

So the point of all this is I think too many guys are looking for perfection. Instead, deal with what is dealt you and make the best you can out of it.

In other words, enjoy and enjoy truely your experiences, stop thinking of what if, I wish, if only. Live in the present and really enjoy what the present offers you.

From a personal point of view, I think I am going to take the nice pieces from very different relationships and enjoy them. The sum of those nice pieces ends up being incredible.

 

[Jara-Lee]

Thanks you are right.

I think I just need a break from the dating scene.

Wore me out. It is a jungle out there.

In reality, I met some nice people. Maybe I am too picky, but I should have been before I got married!

Anyway, bottom line, contacted some nice people, one especially whom I may take a couple of real SLOW dates.

Blast from the past has me tied around her finger, and I admit that. She has returned suddenly. No good can come of this but in her case I would go down in a smoking heap.

And MP is perfect in every way.

Life could not be better so I better enjoy this.

When the time comes, I will make the right decision. Goodtime is right - don't rush yourself and don't pressure yourself.

 

[Stefan V]

I think you might be the author of your own dilemma! To put my amateur psychiatrist hat on for a moment, it seems to me that the conflict arises from the fact that you don't expect the kind of carefree, giving, sexual encounters from your civilian dates. Isn't that interesting? Obviously, you know what you want in a relationship but aren't insisting on it from your civilian dates.

There are only two explanations that come to mind:

1. You don't feel it's "right" for a civilian girl to behave the way you love your MPA to behave (sexually and otherwise).

2. You'd like your dates to be more like your MPA, but you're really bad at picking girls to date!

Whichever is the explanation, your problem is easily fixed. Just start looking for what you really want from your civilian girlfriends. If it's not in them to provide what you want, dump them and move on! If it is, you will suddenly find that there's no difference between your hobby experiences and your civilian experiences, with the exception that your civilian girlfriend might truly care about you!

So many people, and I have been there myself, prevent themselves from being happy by not insisting on what they really want out of a relationship.

 

[Davelle]

Yeah but the same goes for guys. I think many of us want to be appreciated as more than just a piece of brain/soul. Men want to be desired physically. But no, it's us men that have to compromise and feel bad about OUR needs. Women's needs are always more important because there is no socially-fabricated shame associated with it, like there is with sex and physicality.

As long as there is a bias, men will always be viewed as bad. Simply put, you gotta give some to get some. Women don't put out physically, only when they get paid, but they expect us to always put out emotionally/mentally and NEVER EVER get compensated for it. It's an unfair deal.

 

[Mister Ious]

...And I thought I was cynical.

W-A, I've been in many relationships where I've never felt it's a give-to-get deal. When it's right, it's right. It just flows.

You'll find one. Probably when you're least looking for it (and it won't be born inside a rub 'n tug).

kkarn/

 

[The Wormist]

I think for sure 2nd option is much better - to have Civilian Girls behave more like MPs. God, it sounds like we are in Iraq. Civilian girls????



I guess bottom line being away from dating scene for a while I did not realize how draining it was. Maybe that is my whole point, the dating scene is so hit and miss that you have to spend oodles of time and go down many dead-end streets.

I always had better luck with people I knew somewhat, because at least I knew a bit about them. This time I tried hooking up with lots of people I never met before. It was something to be tried because I have been away so long from having to date. God, did it catch me by surprise.



But more I think about it.... my MP makes me really happy, I know I do same for her, so just keep going and be real happy regardless of what happens outside of it. I consider the time together to be too special.

SO my advice: Guys stop dating.... it is a jungle out there! well ok at least take a break. Go see your fav MP instead.

 

[takarajewels]

Yeah well, I only play with the cards I was dealt. What can I say?

 

[Sky.Ice.]

Kracker, we shouldn't shortchange ourselves. Money will only get you so far. There will always be others who is richer.

Personality and confidence will keep them coming back. I'm no spring chicken. Not buffed or God's gift to women. Rarely would women throw themselve at me. But been blessed with company of some wonderful ladies (outside of this circle) that rival better MPAs.



Don't forget MPAs meet and deal with more men than the typical girl. For MPA to earn decent $, she has to know how to please and keep men coming back. Skills that typical girl are not be equiped with. But there are exceptions.

Perhaps we try too hard when it comes to dating. Too eager to score or go thru that checklist, too busy comparing and overlook the positive attributes in the other person?

My advice would be the opposite. Go out. Participate in activities. Meet people. Be out-going. Have a balance lifestyle.

Meet people and when there are attraction, hang out, enjoy each other's company. No need to treat it as a mating ritual. Have a good time, in worst case, she's not the partner you seek, but you got to know someone and gain a friend.

BTW, sex can be overrated!

 

[mad hatter]

Patience my friend. Give life a chance, wait for the deck to be reshuffled. She is out there.

 

[~vanilla~]

Someone mentioned visits with MPs are not reality.

I would suggest that to many massageplanet.netites, myself included, it sure as heck is reality.

Maybe it is just me, now do not get me wrong on this this, but most "Civilian girls" are very reserved and not as exciting in comparison to good MPs.

Not to say that I do not have relationships outside MPs - heck it is even good to take a woman out even as a friend, then go see your MP.

In all cases, Mp or no Mp, I think you need that special connection to make it good.

I have seen lots of criticisms of MP experiences because "it is not real" or "money changes hands".


You know what... it is real... you are there... you enjoy... hopefully your MP enjoys too.

I think we have to learn to appreciate all our experiences - you will get bad experiences no matter what in life, so when you get the good ones, really appreciate them.

I kind of sense SOME guys think visiting a MP is a compromise and you must strive to find a relationship outside.

It is no compromise - it is a great experience.

I say appreciate.


Ps someone asked about my looks - gangly that the tall one from Corey and Trevor, with pasty white skin stretched over an alien frame.

 

[Visions of Codeine]

I agree with your analysis, but I would add two points:

1. The deal you speak about tends to be more balanced early on in a relationship. Therefore, you can avoid the worst of the problem by never marrying or committing to a long term relationship. Simply move on when the balance shifts (as it inevitably will) towards the pre-eminence of the woman's wants/needs. In other words - stop looking for Mrs. Right! Stay with someone who makes you happy and leave someone who doesn't.

2. Women do change their outlook when they get older. Many realize that their distorted view of the priorities of a couple drove previous men out of their lives. These women will take a much more balanced look at your needs vs. hers. You may simply have to wait it out until then if you are determined to settle down with one woman for the rest of your life. Of course, the difficulty is that too many women just don't maintain their appearance beyond 35.

Best of luck. I've already made too many mistakes to live a perfect life.

 

[MateRoloFat]

Sex is good. On the other hand.

You said sex is over-rated. You are right. If you make a real special connection, without sex, very good!!! I agree with you.

 

[Snowy Betty]

I am surprised no one has mentioned this, when you date a MPA afterwhile they behave like every other girl on the street. They may even be worse because they do not trust men.
Even though they might not admit this, but I have found alot of them have problems dating socially.
Seeing them at work for an hour is alot different than being in a real relationship with them.
I have dated a few and to be honest, I would not do it again.

 

[enrodiaTriece]

The irony is that they say women are more mature than men and mature sooner than men. Hah!

 

[Savana]

Can't believe I'm still reading this thread... was kinda hopin' after the long weekend that some resolution or cataclysmic activity had occurred...

 

[james h]

I can relate to this topic.

I was seein an MP for quite a while, and we had connected on amuch dfferent level that normal..that was her comment..and I had the same opinion.

We shared some great times together..and as the original poster said..is was more like lovemaking than a usual MP expierience. It wasn't FS..but damn close!

I was the one who asked to see her outside the parlour. And she declined.

If you believe her side of the story, she wasn't in a position in her life to do that, no matter how much she wanted to. I believe there were things she was not telling me...which is saying pretty much the same thing i know. (There are details I'm leaving out for personal reasons ...for her privacy and mine)

I was the one who stopped the "romance". I wanted more than just a massage..and had only gone there as I hadn't found an SP that i wanted to see on a regular basis. It was a spur of the moment visit.

Fom that one chance visit our feelings for each other grew each time I visited. I can tell you from the emails we exchanged during that time ithe feelings were mutual, and it was with deep regret that I stopped seeing her.

I've been helping her with a new career after the raids and threats of more raids looming on the horizon.

So I fully understand and agree that ometimes you and an MP can have a "relationship" different from the norm.

Did this work out in terms of a non professional relationship..no. But, we remain in contact and she is always telling me how much she misses our times togetjer. Remember she isn't working as an MPA right now. So who knows it may well develop into something.

Just wanted to add this to the post...

Yes I agree that sometimes..whn you least expect it...something will click between two people that goes beyond the norm.

Now..would I see her as a "SO" if she was still working..probably not.

Can't see myself kissing the little woman goodbye and saying.."hope your hand doesn't cramp up like yesterday!"...lol

 

[Jamal]

Life is real screwy.

I think we need a break. See my new post... just for new topic.