Pros and Cons for dating with SP?

[James Louis]

I think these guys could be considered the exception and not the rule.

 

[jandy]

JACKASS!!!!:

 

[aloha]

While I would agree with you, I think you would also be surprised to know how many escorts are in relationships, and not necessarily in "open relationships".

As Felicity and 3 suggested, the key here is honesty and good communication. Which doesn't mean that the SP needs to share every bit of details of their job with their partners, but communicating and understanding each others' boundaries, limits, and insecurities is the key to a healthy relationship, any relationship really, but particularly one involving one of the partner doing sex work.

 

[luxyfoxy]

Careful, the drama will get the best of you.

 

[Joyce B]

You are a very smart cookie.....and are becoming one of my fav posters here.....

 

[Right Chance Overseas]

I am apologizing in advance because your pseudo GF, my SP, will be screaming out my name when she's with you! That thing that your pseudo GF doesn't allow you to do, she loves when I do it.

The big question is: How do like my taste? LMAO She ate my future family!

Okay, seriously, I apologize for raggin' on you man. I just couldn't resist! BTW, Have I reviewed her yet?

 

[vis]

The PRO that I could see is that you would be seeing an SP continually, and it is offered at an hourly rate. If it were to stop, you may still want to see her but at $250/hour, $1200-1500/overnight.

Obviously you kids seem to be compatible, thus the situation. A lot of us hobbyist tend to repeat with SPs (I have repeated 5-6 times with my ATFs), so it would be kind of the same thing! If you currently do not have other options, someone else to date, I don't see what the cons would be. We hobbyists apparently do not have a problem with being with a lady that has been with several men in a day (we actually pay to see them). There are many hypocrytes here.

I really do not see a Con, except the biggest factor, you must be able to handle your significant other as an SP. If that is not a stumbling block, then my suggestion is to enjoy the moment (we are only talking about casual dating). Just remember that you are accepting her "as is", the problem will arise only when you attempt to change her or if she attempts to change you.

There are many relationships that exist, that the relationship is open. This situation is not for everyone. If you can handle it, then nobody should tell you otherwise. (Tito Ortiz-UFC married Jenna Jamieson, so why not).

Just my two cents.

 

[unnga]

wow! we got big thread here. Sorry for the trouble but she kicked my ass : She said do you need to ask people what to do with your relationship? and i said what relationship? : You can guess the rest!

 

[arabianbarbie]

I agree strongly with 3 and Genevieve, their words are very wise.

My boyfriend knows what I do, and he has been my biggest support in my journey. He was there when being a prostitute was merely a fantasy, he was there while I did research on becoming one and he has been there for me since I started about a year ago.

I realize that my bf is special. He truly loves me and wants me to be me and do what makes me happy. I am lucky he is not the jealous type and is very sexual like me. Early on in our nearly 8 year relationship he made it very clear that I will never be the last woman he has sex with. Neither of us believe in sexually monogamous relationships so neither of us expect or want the other to be limited to just each other.

He likes that I am an escort because it's made me financially independent, it has helped me embrace my body and sexuality which has made me feel sexier and made me sexier to him, I have gotten sexual experience which I was lacking before becoming an escort, I am a MUCH better fuck now, I am MUCH more confident and am able to throw myself in new situations, I meet great people who make me feel great, I meet people and learn lessons in life I wouldn't have learned otherwise until much later in life, he gets to hear my stories and gets off on the fun that I have, he has a girlfriend who is attractive and interesting and people pay her to experience what he experiences with her every day for free.

There are cons for him too, he worries about my safety but trusts that I maintain my safety and OUR safety as our number one priority. He chooses to keep his schedule the same as mine so he is awake while I am working if I need him but it does take away from his ability to enjoy the day time.

What it comes down to is we are adults who are individuals in a relationship. We communicate and are realistic with each other. We hold ourselves accountable and don't expect that we make the other whole. We have to love ourselves before anyone else will. But this isn't just the basics of a relationship with an SP, it's the basics to being in a relationship with anyone.

 

[Jerv M]

I've never had a happy relationship with a woman who wasn't either a dancer or an SP. I have no use for monogamy or purity so the average woman, terrified of being considered a "slut" or worse, has no appeal to me in a relationship sense. Too many women are raised with the idea that sexual activity on their part is wrong and dirty and this always plays out in ridiculous hangups and insecurities. Thats no to say most men aren't just as ignorant, the number of men who believe a vagina is supposed to smell fishy is astounding. It isn't folks, thats BV or Bacterial Vaginosis you are smelling and it is not normal. With no education about facts like these and even the simplest understanding of the female body by either sex you get tons of women walking around with infections believing it to be their fate in life because of what they could glean from the other morons on the playground.

I have no use for a woman who has never masturbated because it makes her a "slut" or dirty or because it will make Jesus cry. I want a woman who owns her sexuality and takes part in her orgasm. I won't be chastised in front of a bunch of other hens, in the yard I'm paying the mortgage on, about my lack of ability in finding her G-spot if she's never been there either. There is a sense of entitlement that most women seem to have that I have never encountered with a dancer or an SP. Every dancer or SP I have ever been with has brought money to the bar and by money I mean a few hundred dollars not half of what cab fare back to her house would cost. Each and every one of them has tried to add to our sex life instead of holding me responsible for both of our emotional states. They have all had a much better understanding of what men want OUTSIDE of the bedroom because they get to listen to thousands of men complain about their horrible, frumpy wives.

I feel for the single women in this industry, too often they have to go home to an empty space because they are worried that there aren't enough men who can deal with the reality of a woman who enjoys sex and makes it her job, and they are right.

Theres been some points made about the novelty of the "free sex" wearing off after a while. Is there such a thing as "free sex"? I mean it may not be costing you physical dollars but aren't you still in debt for at least 50% of her orgasm? Having an SP as a girlfriend does not mean you have access to a human toilet you can chuck a deposit in with no regard to anyone else's enjoyment. I enjoy BDSM so I can tell you for a fact that unless that person is there against their will, even treating them as a human toilet is not solely for your pleasure. If you're thinking that your access to hot, porno style sex is going to go up dramatically you're dreaming. No one makes pizza all day and then rushes home to serve you a slice of Sicilian, it just doesn't happen.

The idea that dating an SP on a personal or non business level is somehow going to exalt your sex life to Penthouse letter status, is about as juvenile as someone saying a Gynecologist is lucky to see so much pussy. The gyno sees SICK pussy for the most part kids and the service provider may be so put off or tired from her night that showing you hers is the last thing on her mind most days.

Theres also one key thing I have noticed in my travels with SP's that so far I don't think anyone has mentioned. If you start as a customer, you usually stay that way. I'll use the Trailer Park Boys movie as a reference (not sure which one, likely the second). There is scene where the boys are in a gentlemen's club and a dancer approaches Julian and informs him that she's drinking 7 and 7 in an obvious "I have girl parts so buy me a drink" type hustle. Julian simply tells her "thats nice" and lets her know what he's drinking. Guess who shes sleeping with in the next reel?

There was one point I just have to address about tasting people on our girlfriends and how she loves it when he does that thing she wont let us. LOL if you only knew what a sexually confident SP will do inside of a committed relationship, or even just with someone she trusts and gets off on. It's not the SP's who are withholding the dirty stuff and licking the pool guys ass...it's the housewives.

 

[Lollipop]

Fascinating thread, especially with perspectives from both sides and sexes.

Felicity puts it well - we're sharing intimacy.

We all know sh!t happens. When people get naked together, chemistry, emotions, etc. We all know girls who hide the job from their SOs. We all know girls who have special clients for whom rules are broken. So much can be justified for the job, which would otherwise be unfathomable in a committed relationship.

I'm sorry, but I don't think being an SP is just like any other job.

 

[karen t]

I agree with Felicity and you. It's a job that can put a strain on relationships like no other because of intimacy that's shared (some would even agree that actors, artists, performers may be in a similar boat). I would think that most of time it's just physical intimacy, and perhaps inner thoughts, but not an intimacy of enduring love.

I also believe that it's possible for regular customers to love their favourite providers, in an unselfish and respectful way, but not without a clear understanding of their roles, and without invading or overstepping one's private life.