Attention MPAs & Owners: 2 new female T.O. inspectors!!

[First ever Lilbit]

Don't forget the cookies.

 

[blast]

I'm one of the inspectors.

 

[Jock]

Oh man. The Cookie Monster would actually be a cool nickname for a guy who enjoys orally pleasing young women.

I must add this to my diary.

 

[...Just Me :)]

Oh Great!!!! Now, how am I going to stop picturing a**hole being f*cked by some big, hairy, 7 foot dude???!!!!

Oh well. Anyways, here's part 2 to my "Cookie Monster" story:

So the other day, after I finished shopping, I decide to go over to a**hole's place. When I got there, he was sitting on the couch, with this grumpy look on his face. So I'm like, "Hi baby. What's wrong? How come you're all grumpy today?" He's like, "I know you've been reading my diary." I put on my most innocent face. "I don't know what you're talking about." He gives me his 'don't lie to me' look. "Well then, how come there's pizza crumbs all over it?" I'm like, "They're not pizza crumbs. They're cookie crum......." Uh ohs!!!!!!!! That wasn't very smart!!!!! Me and my big mouth. Now I'm REALLY in big sh*t..... So I tried to explain to him about how Cookie Monster came and totally forced me to read his diary. He's like, "What???!!!! You bought a man to MY PLACE????!!!!!" I'm like, "No no... he's not a man.... he's Cookie Monster." Now he's mad.... "I don't care.... you and your cookie-eating friend better get out of here!!!!"

Now I'M mad!!!!!! Who does he think he is anyway... kicking me out like that???!!!! Curse him curse him!!! Hope some stupid birdie comes and sh*ts on his head. That'll teach him!!!! The nerve of him....!!!! Calling the Cookie Monster my cookie-eating friend!!!!! How dare him!!!!

I didn't know what to do or where to go next so I just started wandering around. I was starting to get tired, and hungry, and thirsty, so when I saw this pub, I decide to go inside. I ordered myself a beer. I usually don't like beer so I don't even know why I ordered one. Anyways, about five minutes after my drink comes, this guy comes up to me. "Are you alone?" "No, I'm with my cookie-eating friend." He laughs. He sits beside me. He was a handsome guy, not really my type though, probably in his late twenties or early thirties. So we sat around... chit-chatting... he was actually really nice. I finish my beer. He asks me if I want another one. I told him "no" and that I better get going. He asks me to stay a little longer and that he'll buy me another beer. I figure, "ahhhhh.... what the heck? I have nothing to do and nowhere to go anyways, so I said 'o.k.'" After I finish that beer, I was starting to feel woozy. I think it's because I didn't eat dinner. So I tell him I better get going because I'm starting to feel not too good. He offers to drive me home. I tell him "no, I better grab a cab instead" He insists on driving me home. I look at him. I'm always pretty good at judging people and he seems pretty harmless, so I said, "o.k."

Anyways, I gave him directions to go back to a**hole's place. Being the nice guy that he was, he walks me to the door. I bang on the door and after a few seconds, a**hole opens the door. He looks at me, then at the guy. "Who's this?", a**hole growls. "This is my new friend." I answer. The guy looks at a**hole. "And who are YOU?" A**hole answers, "I'm her boyfriend." Anyway, seeing that I was drunk, a**hole threw me over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes (I HATE it when he does that.... grrrrrrr.....) and he tucks me into bed. He kisses me on my forehead. "Let me go take care of your new little friend there......" he says.

I fell asleep. I wake up the next day. A**hole's there beside me. He was already awake. "I hope you didn't give that nice guy a hard time last night 'cuz he was really nice."
"Ohh no." A**hole replied. "In fact, I gave him a nice reward."
"You did?" I asked, surprised.
"Oh yeah.... I was going to give him a nice box of chocolates, but I didn't have any, then I saw your box of Smarties lying there. So I took 2, I didn't have any Ziploc bags so I just put them in my smelly sock, gave it to him, told him 'thanks for bringing my girlfriend home, Happy Easter', and sent him on his way."


So anyways....... the moral of the story is this:

Don't pick up any crazy chicks who has imaginary Cookie Monster friends; otherwise, you'll end up with 2 Smarties in a smelly sock at the end of the night.

 

[Am_I a_Beatlesfan??]

The ironic thing is that you seem to use the massage community as your on line diary. I think the root of all of your realtionship problems has to do with all of the Tupac posters in your room. How can you expect your lover to be at peace when every time he wakes up he's forced to look at a topless Tupac looking like he's ready to kill him? It's just spooky.

Replace the Tupac posters with Care Bear posters, and over time I'm sure you'll find out that your husband-to-be is in a much better mood, and more recpetive to your womanly needs.

PS Including him in Bingo Hall visits will also bring you two closer together.

You're welcome.

 

[TokioHotelFan13]

Bumped into 2 female bylaws while they were on break. Station in Scarb but bylaw rotate to various districts - minmize LE grease tempatation.

White squad car with reflective City of Toronto logo visible in certain angle.

The darkhair white glasses girl with half decent look can pass as MPA. Her deep voice may not appeal to some.

Her Asian partner is almost half the height with common face & short straight hair, hard for her to make money even in cheap AMP.