Signs of the Times Great signs and notices

[wannamcfranzwiththat]

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines

Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms

For Sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers

Four-poster bed, 101 years old, perfect for antique lover

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale. Eight puppies from a German Shephard and an Alaskan Hussy

Great Dames for sale

Stock up and Save. Limit: one.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, and you'll never go anywhere again

Illiterate? Write today for free help

Mixing bowl set designed to please cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00

Wanted: Used Paint

Lost cat. Last seen at the Park County Rod and Gun Club Shooting Range.

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

Prostitutes appeal to Pope
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beat soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from a Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under t