Review Review: YUMI @ KSPA

[TikTik]

Hello, Gents.

This is my first ever review so please be gentle with me.

I visited KSPA today with the intent of spending time with YUMI.

I have heard great reviews about her and wanted to check her out

I parked in the plaza to get a feel for the environment first.

There are a total of 3 SPAs in that plaza:
- Water Lily Spa
- Yu Qing Quan Spa
- K Spa

From sitting in the car for about half hour, I noticed that the only patrons coming out of the SPAs were coming from K SPA, which I took as a good sign.

I’ve never been to these 3 SPAs so I shouldn’t have any expectations whatsoever.

Coincidentally she was the one who opened the door for me with a great big warm
Smile and friendly voice.

She said she’s YUMI and asked for my name which I did give her.

While walking the hallway to the room, I asked her who else was working that day.

She said “Cindy”

I said to her, when we’re done, before I leave, can you introduce me to Cindy? Maybe I will look for her next time.

She said “sure!”

She does have a chatty side to her and I didn’t feel that there was any language barriers similar to my previous exploits

She walked me to a room and after closing the door, she asked how long do I want a massage for.

Since this is my first time with both KSPA and YUMI, i was thinking of a test drive first.

For the places I really fancy, I have frequent flyer miles so it’s all up to that moment that would decide whether i am coming back or not

I opted for the 30 minute massage, handed her $40 and she walked out without a word.

I started getting comfortable.

It’s nice to have an ensuite shower in the room.

Before you chastise me, let me be the first to admit that this is MY review and I am fully aware of the following:
- We all have different “types” of MPAs
- the MPAs also have different “types” of patrons
- the MPAs are allowed to have a bad day.

I wanted to get those out of the way in hopes that sly comments are already address before they even are posted.

My review is entirely and solely based on my taste and my experience, for all I know: ahe’s simply not MY type, I am not her type and/or she’s just having a bad day.

I blame myself from having high expectations because she didn’t strike me as what I would consider ti be nice to look at (but neither am i so that’s ok)

(I do not know the boundaries of sharing the private massage experience as this is my first posted review so i will be a little cryptic and discreet)

After I got comfortable, she came in and without any ither word, asked me to lie down.

I immediately said “no massage”, she smiled and asked “so what do you want?” I answered: so what do you offer?” And that exchange looped about 3-5 times until i broke the chain and said everything on the menu.

She said “Benjamin”

So I have her Ben…

She asked me to lie down…

I said no, give a hug first. And she obliged.

I hugged her while she was getting comfortable.

Then she brought me to the hills and if you like lower-mid hill, then, you might enjoy the tour, although if you’re into K2 and Ever Rest then, it may not be your cup of tea.

The top of the hill had a Beats Earpods so I like that

For the Umpth time, she asked me to lie down.

So I obliged. Then she initiated a math lesson that deducts 31 from 100 after she erected a tent.

The lawn has been recently mowed, i would say 2-3 days ago.

And i swore I could hear tbe voices of stray cats in heat near the tent which made my blood pressure rise wink

We both took our time in math class and (i could be wrong) the stray cars were real live cats i stead of just those talking plush cats and white sap started oozing from the mowed lawn, so I asked myself, is she into products from “WISH” or is she really having a ball?

She then stopped with the math class and decided to go horse riding.

For some reason, horseback riding is not my thing regardless of who Is the Jockey. But i figured, let her have fun with the ride first.

After a few minutes, I asked her if we can go to a 3rd world country and spread the good news to the unsaved.

She accepted and this time, I was driving.

This is my fave sport - driving to spread the word to the unsaved

She then commented - that I am so strong - so I asked if she was getting hurt a d if i should slow down the car - she said don’t stop.

I find the squeaky (loud) vehicle we were using to be very distracting and it made me lose focus (that’s how loud it was)

So when she noticed that i was full 180° distracted by the noise, she offers a Banana Juice to help me get back to being focused, so I said yes and she started mixing up the Banana Juice for me.

When the Banana Juice was done, we continued with the drive to 3rd world countries to spread the word to the unsaved.

Unfortunately for me, the squeak was just too damn loud, annoying and distracting so I said, thank you but i have to go now and I will just come back.

So I said I was going to shower and she said she was going to shower in another room

She left mw there and when I was done freshening up, she came back and asked for a bottle of water.

I said yes and she grabbed a cold one for me.

As we were walking the hallway to the exit, i noticed that all massage room doors where open ALL OF THEM so i said, can I see Cindy (i was thinking that if I see Cindy, i may or may not have a massage with her next time.

Her answer to that was a stern “almost sounding like pissed-off” BYE!

So I said , excuse me? She repeated her exavt response…

I was thinking to myself, what’s the deal?

At the exit door, before sbe opened it to let me out I said “see you again soon”

For the third time she repeated the same reaponse.

From chatting with hwr in the beginning, i know there’s no language barrier so i think and feel she meant “Bye” in a GTFO way.

Would I come back? no

Why? Because I didn’t find her attractive and sexy to begin with so the only thing going for her in my books would be the attitude and that got slammed out the door with me.

She’s not “fat” but has some baby belly muffin runoffs around the waist. To me, flat pair of glutes.

No trips to France, Russia and Greece.
There’s definitely May Class, Supper at Yokel’s, Cheese Burger Junior and Car Front Seats.

No Good Faith Empowerment there, that’s for sure.

Attitude - 5/10
Looks - 3/10
Body- 4/10
English - 10/10
Hills - depends on what you like, for me: 4/10
Lawn - 7/10
Damage - 28 pieces of Sir Wilfrid Laurier (8 for the door and 20 for the massage

Coming back? NO

Thank you!
- TIKTIK

 

[Barney Rubble]

Thanks for the detailed review. It would be nice if you could ease up on the code words. This isn’t TERB.

 

[xtc27]

Thanks for the detailed review. It would be nice if you could ease up on the code words. This isn’t TERB.

Terb woulda deleted the post & suspended him anyway!

 

[Barney Rubble]

Terb woulda deleted the post & suspended him anyway!

Probably…

I used to work with a guy who communicated almost entirely in colloquialisms. Trying to understand him was like an episode of Star Trek.

This post gave me flashbacks.

 

[Dotanuki]

So......
CG and Missionary but the squeaky bed was distracting. Had to do oral to it going but couldn't finish.

Why would she be so terse as she got her money and you made no unreasonable demands.

Oh well

 

[Hatrick]

Cool review.
Crossword puzzle worthy.