I'm Tired....and I want a Fantasy Woman

[Hatchet Wounds]

I’m tired of listening how your day was, you seem to have major personality conflicts with everybody you work with, after a while you should spend some time in front of mirror.


I’m tired of sweat pants, I find it incredible how many styles and colours they come in and how fast you can change into them.

I'm tired of you knowing every name of every contestant on American Idol but forgetting every detail of everything I say


I’m tired of knowing what the next gadget we need around the house. Will a slap-chop change your life forever? Is the ‘new’ Tide that much better than the old?

I’m tired of going to your sisters for every long weekend and holiday. Her house stinks, her husband bores me to death, and that her cutesy poodle chews my shoes.

I’m tired of you always having that second piece of cheesecake when you say you shouldn’t. Your metabolism ain’t what it was when you were 20 and the stationary bike that took 3 weeks to shop for makes for an excellent coat-rack.

I’m tired of any intimacy being negotiated like a mortgage application and that the subsequent payments go on for nearly as long.

I’m tired that when shopping for lingerie the question has changed from, ‘Do I look sexy in this?’ to ‘Doesn’t this look comfortable?’

I’m tired of explaining what off-side means.

I’m tired of you being tired

I’m tired………..I WANT A MASSAGE